Folded scarves on a table.
Folded scarves on a table.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Cozy winter scarves are such a fun way to add a splash of style to any cold-weather look, but they can also cut off blood flow for wintertime autoerotic asphyxiation! Treat yourself or everyone on your list with a warm, fashionable scarf for masturbating while nearly suffocating.

Long Shawl Scarf

Woman lying on her side in bed staring into space.
Woman lying on her side in bed staring into space.
Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

When everything’s awesome, it’s easier to stay motivated. But what about when everything sucks? What if you’re seriously depressed? Everything seems hopeless, and there is no way you can deal.

If you have depression or know what it is, you understand that motivating through the pain and struggle of living normally is a huge bitch.

There are ways to motivate through depression.

I know, I didn’t believe it at first either. Not all of these may work for you. …

Women sitting crossed legged meditating in the sunset.
Women sitting crossed legged meditating in the sunset.
Photo by Jared Rice on Unsplash

I would not be friends with my higher self. Why? Because my higher self is no fun. She’s conscious. She can sit there quietly, contemplating life, and then find the beauty in it. She can calmly observe the atrocities of life while staying sweet and centered. She loves yoga. She wears a bra to baby showers. She’s constantly recycling. She practices self-care, and it doesn’t involve masturbating. She’s grateful. She’s mindful. She’s present.

She’s boring.

My self-self is fun. She drinks margaritas and does drugs! She dresses whorish and laughs loudly. She likes to turn the music up. She flips people off…

The Hollywood sign.
The Hollywood sign.
Photo by Ahmet Yalçınkaya on Unsplash

When you’re in the dressing room at Loehmann’s, it’s real tough not to stare.

Last week I was on vacation in Los Angeles from my dental hygienist job back in Tulsa. My co-worker (when she’s sober), Mandy, told me if I wanted to fit in out in Hollywood, I had to look the part. That meant something sassy to wear!

When I asked the girl at the front desk of the Best Western where I should get some sweet new clothes she said,

“Loehmann’s. It’s where I got my Yeezy sweat pants.”

I wondered if that’s where she got her nose piercing and that unicorn tattoo on her wrist. My cousin Stacy has a…

Woman with glasses smiling.
Woman with glasses smiling.
Photo by Payton Tuttle on Unsplash

I thought when I joined Medium, I would be writing about my trip to Israel and how I became more in touch with my Jewish womanhood, but that story only got like three claps. I was genuinely shocked because my mother had found it so relatable.

Surprisingly, my most popular stories on Medium are about my vagina. I totally did not expect this on a public forum. I was maybe going to write about the time in college my sorority sisters and I did Dance Marathon.

We stayed up all night dancing in the student union to raise money for…

A text saying “Your $0.12 payment is on it’s way”
A text saying “Your $0.12 payment is on it’s way”

The three posts I have on Medium are completely resonating with the other writers.

But it hasn’t always been this way. When I joined Medium last week, I was scared to publish anything. I felt insecure and intimidated. Who the hell did I think I was to deserve this financial win? I bet you guys can relate.

Well, I’m happy to say those days are over! I’ve learned so much on my Medium journey; it’s only right for me to share my money-making secrets with my readers. Not going to lie, it did take some work. …

Pic by Connally Morris

You know when you’re looking at Instagram, and everyone is in Europe with their six kids in matching outfits or getting proposed to on the beach. Or zip-lining in a bikini.

HOW?

And no, I’m not talking about travel bloggers or influencers.

Well, I am here to tell you that this is not my experience. I am not in Greece. I’m not at a foam party in Ibizia. I’m not even in Tulsa. I’m in LA, and I’m sweating. I know, I know my path is my own. Don’t compare yourself to others. Worry about yourself. Well, it’s too late…

Photo by Ian Dooley on Unsplash

I live in LA, where women over 40 are thrown into the Pacific ocean to die, so when someone tells me I look good for my age, it makes me feel like the two different sunscreens I’ve been wearing are here for me.

No doubt, I can be a superficial lady. I want to look my best. I scrub, and extract, and rub serums in places I won’t admit, but it’s starting to feel like a never-ending plight. I’m not delusional. …

Julia Wolov

Hi, I’m Julia. I’m a tv comedy writer in Los Angeles. I dip my pizza in ranch. Twitter:@DanaAndJulia Go to girlyoucrazy.com if you’re mentally illin’.

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